Dating borderline woman
One male director of a design firm told the paraphrased, “it has been figured out how men and women should interact.” But the rules of interaction haven’t changed—it’s just that, for the first time, women are publicly calling foul en masse.Sexual harassment has moved from the realm of cheesy office training videos to the real world, where harassers are not only Donald Trumps and anonymous subway masturbators, but also our friends, lovers, fathers, and work buddies.To anyone bearing witness, #Me Too is writing an alternate history of the workplace, the classroom, the corner store, the dance club, the sidewalk, the friend’s party, and the intimate confines of the romantic relationship.To people who’ve experienced harassment and abuse, it’s also an alternate history of our own lives.They’re the bad guys, yes, and they’re a fair number of “good guys,” too.If men are worried that they are constantly on the verge of unwittingly violating someone in the post-#Me Too era—which, good, they should be—it’s because, in a society that rarely takes claims of clear-cut sexual assault seriously, there’s usually little room for open discussion about the more nuanced social norms that define the boundaries of sexual harassment. Room for survivors to dig up and display the rotting garbage they’ve been toting around for years, to explain aloud, for the whole world to hear, where they draw the line between right and wrong.It’s not just that our collective understanding of the prevalence of harassment has changed; it’s that our understanding of the very definition of has been called into question.The definition will grow more capacious as we retrain our antennae to categorize certain male behavior as threatening that we’d previously been conditioned to dismiss or ignore.
Now, we must contend with the knowledge that the everyday woman, by virtue of existing in the public sphere, has endured untold violations.
Though the lines between acceptable behavior and harassment feel in some ways clearer today than ever, there still isn’t anything close to broad agreement about where all these lines should be drawn.
This is why the current moment has both women and men reassessing interactions from their past, wondering if they were on either end of a troubling encounter.
Both male and female victims reported feeling pressure to be “chill” when physical touch or sex acts were forced on them.
Women are reconsidering sexual contact they’ve had with gay men—both as targets and culprits of misconduct—and contemplating when a compliment becomes street harassment.